Thoughts on Moving
New Years Lessons in Letting Go
When you kill your darlings in writing, you can file them on your computer. When you downsize a house, you let go of your darlings for good.
I’ve moved many times in my life from Honolulu to Chicago to New York before coming to Los Angeles, where I have moved seven times in thirty-nine years. I have greeted each of those thirteen moves (not counting the six-months stays in Boston and D.C. for Cats) with hope and anticipation. It’s an arduous process. But the only way to the future is straight through the mess.
When we’re young, we take what we have and accumulate more along the way. As we grow older, our possessions increase. If we partner with someone else, we shed bits of our singularity to blend and create something new. If we start a family, we acquire even more of what we need at the time and hold onto the possessions and memories we believe we or our children will want.
With each move, we shed the clutter of the past to make room for the exciting possibilities that await.
The boxes of memories grow. Our kids collect bits and pieces to furnish their new dwellings, counting on what’s stored in our garages when the size of their places increase. If we move, our kids are still anchored by our furniture and possessions and the memories they evoke. We are the place they can always return. Baring a tragic event, parents are the keepers of the past, the anchor for the present, and the storage unit for the future.
Until the day when we are not.
That’s when the hard decisions are made: furniture passed down through generation, precious artwork with no room to keep, boxes upon boxes of family photos and children’s artwork to cull.
Downsizing for any reason is an emotional punch to the gut.
With every piece sold or given away, with every garbage bag filled with images and memories we treasured but no longer will keep, we feel the regret, loss, and doubt. The decisions we make cannot be reversed.
If we cling, our attachment to familiar things will holds us in place.
Major shifts in life need room to manifest and expand. Believe this and trust. When we create space for this to happen, we invite abundance, fulfillment, and marvelous change.
Published Works from 2023:
I’m gratified to have published three times last year, all inspired by my ninja training and Lily Wong. In all the years I spent training and teaching To-Shin Do ninja martial arts and the time spent in Tang Soo Do, kickboxing, and Wushu spear, it never occurred to me that I would one day create a modern-day ninja protagonist who would resonate and thrill so many readers.
Mahalo to everyone who has read, loved, recommended, and reviewed my Lily Wong Thriller Series. To end this four-book set with a stunning hardcover release was a tremendous thrill. Even if you haven’t yet met my Chinese-Norwegian modern-day ninja, Lily Wong, THE NINJA’S OATH is an exciting place to start.
“Ninja Echo Charlie Mike” is Lily Wong crossover short story I was invited to write for JOE LEDGER: UNBREAKABLE. It came out in November and features Lily in pre-book series days. I had a blast writing this Lily Wong Echo Team adventure in Jonathan Maberry’s Joe Ledger’s world.
I stretched my essay skills by writing “The Agency of Modern Kunoichi: The Women of Ninja Stealth and Perseverance” in UNQUIET SPIRITS: ESSAYS BY ASIAN WOMEN IN HORROR. In it, I explore my own Chinese heritage and ninja training in relation to the historic progression of women’s empowerment in China and Japan. This collection explores themes of themes of otherness, identity, expectation, duty, loss, and understanding with reflections superstition, spirits, and the supernatural.
Stay tuned for exciting news in 2024!
Wishing everyone abundance and joy in all facets of life.
Hau‘oli Makahiki Hou!
Tori 🌺
Love this. When our kids left the nest, I struggled with our move from a big house in the burbs to a condo in the city. I sold almost 5000 books just to fit the remainer in our condo :(. But eventually I felt fantastic. I am reminded of a line from Mary Renault's The King Must Die, one of my favorite books: "You will walk lighter after, when there is no looking back."
By chance are you returning to Hawaii?
When both my daughters were grown and had (supposedly) left home, so did I. Oregon was great, and I had a wonderful career there, but I'd always wanted to live in Hawaii, so I sorted, packed and donated scads of things, and flew off to hula land. I was there for the next 15 years. Downside was rarely getting to see my family, so I returned to the mainland. Once again, I was sorting and donating things to $ave moving costs. Found a job in Tucson AZ, close enough to my daughters and grandchildren. Many years later, ill health dominated. My youngest daughter sorted and sold boxes of my treasures, donated carloads of memories and beloved ephemera. She packed me up and here I am in Colorado, with two storage lockers full of things I still need to sell. (Anyone interested in owning a beautiful japanned china cabinet?) Someday, I'll make a final trip to Hawaii... but not for a very long time, I hope.